Think of the Best Case Scenario.

We are very good at preparing for what could go wrong. We rehearse disappointment.

We imagine failure.

We lower our expectations “just in case.”

Somewhere along the way, we were taught that hoping too much is dangerous, that expecting good things sets us up for heartbreak. (Evil eye and Jinx WhatsApp group)

But what if it doesn’t?

What if, just for a moment, you allowed yourself to consider the best-case scenario?

Not the unrealistic, fairy-tale version, but the honest one where things work out because you show up, you learn, you try again, and grace meets effort along the way.

Thinking about the best-case scenario isn’t being naive btw. It’s being brave.

It takes courage to imagine joy when you have known disappointment.

It takes faith to expect alignment when life has taught you to brace.

Yet our minds are powerful.

What we consistently think about quietly shapes what we prepare for.

When you only plan for the worst, you build emotional walls.

When you allow room for the best, you build capacity, for joy, growth, love, opportunity.

So here’s a gentle practice for my readers today;

Ask yourself,

• What if this works out?

• What if I’m capable?

• What if I’m supported?

• What if this season turns out better than I imagined?

You don’t need certainty. You don’t need guarantees. You just need permission.

Permission to hope again.

Permission to dream without immediately shrinking the dream.

Permission to imagine a future that feels safe, expansive, and kind.

This doesn’t mean you ignore reality.

It means you stop assuming that pain is the only realistic outcome.

Sometimes, the most healing thing you can do is let your mind visit a good ending.

Think about the best-case scenario.

Let it soften you.

Let it guide your next brave step.

Return to your First Love.

I didn’t stop loving writing.
I just stopped sitting long enough to listen to myself.

Somewhere between responsibility, leadership, deadlines, becoming “strong,” and holding space for everyone else, I placed my first love on a shelf and told myself I would come back for it later.

Later became years.

Writing was the first place I learned how to be honest.
It’s where I asked the questions I didn’t yet have answers to.
It’s where I showed up messy, unsure, hopeful, healing.

And just to be clear— no, I don’t mean the first love who broke your heart and taught you emotional resilience the hard way.
We have unpacked that one already. (hopefully you have)

This blog was never about having it all figured out.
It was about becoming.

And I kept becoming — just quietly.

Life happened. Growth happened. Purpose expanded.
I learned how to lead rooms, build communities, hold vision, pour into others.
I learned discipline, resilience, patience, and the weight of responsibility.

But in all that becoming, I missed the girl who sat with her thoughts and wrote anyway.

So this is me returning.
Not because everything is perfect.
Not because I suddenly have more time.
But because I finally understand that neglecting what grounds you slowly empties you.

Your first love isn’t always a person.
Sometimes it’s a practice.
A calling.
A place where your soul exhales.

For me, it was writing.

This isn’t a comeback fueled by pressure or consistency goals.
It’s a gentle return.
One rooted in honesty, wellness, faith, reflection, and growth — the kind that happens in real life, not highlight reels.

If you’re reading this and you’ve drifted from something that once made you feel alive, consider this your reminder:

You’re allowed to return.
You’re allowed to begin again — wiser, softer, fuller.
You’re allowed to choose what feels like home.

This is me choosing home.

As I returned to writing, I realized something important.

The Queen Asks was born in a season of questions.
Of searching. Of learning how to sit with myself and ask the hard, honest things.

But seasons change.

The questions didn’t disappear, they matured. They became practices.
They became tools. They became spaces I now hold for other women.

That is how SHE was born.

SHE is not a departure from The Queen Asks.
She is the becoming.

She is what happens when personal healing turns into communal healing.
When reflection becomes intention.
When questions grow into guidance.

So if you have followed me here, thank you.
And if you’re meeting me for the first time, welcome.

This is me honouring where I started, while stepping fully into who I am now.

The writing continues.
The heart remains the same.
The name evolves.

Welcome to SHE.
She Helps others Evolve.

And I’m so glad you’re here.

Season: Unpacking to Re-pack.

“I am learning that you don’t unpack in a day, you don’t heal in an hour after listening to the best sermon, but you unpack daily until there is nothing left to unpack. You unpack until there is space to pack what is needed to go again”
QuoteQueen

Hey Readers, it has been the longest minute! I missed you and decided to pass by here and share a little bit, I hope you love it and of course, Happy Monday! Should I say Happy New Year because I know I haven’t written at all this year.

If you were allowed to pack and unpack for this season, What would you your luggage consist of? I’m calling this the unpacking season because we are entering the other half of the year and there is a lot of baggage that we have carried from January that completely has no business being in June.

Imagine each month was a new season, a new chapter and we were required to empty our suitcases and re- pack before going ahead into the new chapter, What are you getting rid of or Are you a serial hoarder that wants to move with every little trauma, guilt into the new month? Have you ever wondered that your baggage is the reason you’re not arriving faster at your desired destination? It is heavy and heavy things according to easy physics tend to slow you down.

Traveling light is not a statement that fits only in the physical luggage but mental luggage as well. What are those things that you have refused to unpack? Is it a disappointment that happened in March? Is it guilt from April? Moving aimlessly with all this baggage takes up space for new useful things that you might require on the next journey.

“What you might be holding onto, might be what is holding you back”

To travel far and fast, you need to travel light. Light in terms of an open mind, light in terms of forgiveness, light in terms of positivity and of course with a mentality of, “Do I need it, or do I want to hold onto it forever till I’m ready to drop it off on the way?”

Today, I ask you to open your suitcase, which is your mind and unpack to re- pack. Write down what you need to go with you for the rest of the year, is it peace, more love, compassion etc and write down as well what is taking up a lot of space for the positive that you need to unpack, mistakes, insecurities, guilt, disappointments. You do not need to remind yourself about your past every time you open your suitcase. You’re traveling with a heavy heart and it might be the reason you’re not where you want to be yet.

You don’t need a full suitcase right now, pack what you need and we shall meet more along the way. Full hands cannot receive more because there is space to accommodate more, free your hands and your mind. Better things are making their way towards you.

TheQueenAsks, What are you unpacking today?

November.💛

Happy New Month my loves! I’m super excited and ready for the goodness and favors this month has for me and of course you if you believe! Sweetie, one month to the end of the year, I don’t know how it has been for you but here you are.💛

The beginning of each month is as special as the beginning of the new year. There is unexplained energy and excitement, different high expectations, new mindsets, To-do lists, goals, and so on. At times, this energy and attitude disappear after the first week because we normally don’t prepare for the bumps along the way that are inevitable. So much can be happening around you but if you choose to look and focus on what gave you energy at the very start, you will be shocked at how far you will make it in that month!

I want you to wake up each day this month and intentionally believe that “Each day is your day” “Each week is your week” In the same breath, take each day one at a time, It’s just a bad day, not a bad life. We are being realistic, not all the 30 days will be your kind of good so be patient and breathe. Trust and believe that tomorrow will be better if today wasn’t good enough!

Get the best ways to prioritize your mental health, I promise you, the world can wait. Make this month as personal as it can be, I know you can and I’m proud of you already! Happy November!

Take each month as a new beginning. ~TheQueen!👑

How to self-care when experiencing burnout?

Burnout is best defined in 12 stages, excessive ambition, working harder while neglecting own needs, displacement of conflicts and needs, no longer having time for non-work-related issues. While one is experiencing all this, there is a denial of the problem which decreases the flexibility of thought.

When someone is going through burnout, they lack sense of direction, lose contact with themselves and their own needs. There is inner emptiness and physical exhaustion.
Busyness has become the new normal, it is the trend in that people barely notice that they are experiencing stress and burnout. Resting and I mean intentional resting is necessary in order to function effectively and efficiently. When experiencing burnout, you need to step back and give time to yourself without feeling guilty.

Burnout is not a normal state of being and in case you are experiencing one of these signs, then you need to pause and check in with yourself. Are you generally unhappy with your life? Yes, good things might be happening around you but you feel too drained to fully enjoy it. Have you met people who say yes to everything yet they have a To-Do List as long as A to Z? People who are opportunity hungry but at the same time risking their physical and mental health. Learn to set some boundaries and understand that you don’t have to do it all, less is okay if you are doing it to maximum effect. Doing all this leaves you tired, you are distracted most of time because there is impaired concentration and of course it is easy to forget most of the work that you do.

Embrace nothing days. Wake up to do nothing and do nothing. Put the planner away, don’t visit your workgroups, switch off your phone, ignore any work calls. Stare into space for hours and breathe, pay attention to the things around you. Count sheep or whatever but do nothing. By taking the time to do nothing, you are making yourself better at getting things done. Sleep as you have never slept before if you have insomnia, I highly recommend switching off the lights and listening to rain sounds, it gives you the best sleeping environment, this method worked for me and I know it will work for you too.

As most of us know, nothing blooms all year long so we have to be patient with the process, your motivation is not going to be at 100% most of the time hence the importance of unplugging and recharging. Take a seat and be still! Listen to your body when it is screaming all signs of burnt out, don’t wait to hit the dead-end which you could have avoided. Move your body by doing exercises, taking a walk is a good start.

Do something you love for yourself. Commit to positive habits and priorities. Protect your energy even if it means saying no to things to make you feel better. Say yes to what’s good for you. Make more loving choices with yourself. Choose to love you! Love yourself enough to make time and space to do things that you love and enjoy deliberately.

You owe it to yourself to become everything you have ever dreamed of being but not at the time expense of your mental health.~TheQueen!👑

Mental Health Day.

First of all Happy New Month! How was your September? I know I disappeared for a bit and I have to compensate for the past four Mondays and I definitely will!

My last month was draining for sure and I was not in the best mental space to share thoughts and advice with the world. But I’m here now and I’m praying for a successful October with more good, better mental health(It is Mental Health Month btw), and glowing skin!

Yesterday was Mental Health Awareness Day and I want to celebrate it with a few writings here on my blog that I believe will make somebody’s day. What does Mental Health mean to you? Is it just one of those trending topics that you hop on so that you don’t feel left out? Is it something you value? Do you take care of your mind and the people around you? Are you mentally healthy or is it only your body that needs all the care? In all this, How are you? How is your mind reader? How have your thoughts been like, Are they building or breaking you?

I want us to learn or remember five things that have helped me on my bad mental days and according to more research, they have helped other people cope as well.

Journaling. I preach this a lot because it’s not just writing and pouring out thoughts on a paper no one is ever going to read or better yet, you might never go back and read as well. It is freeing. It is helpful. It is therapy. Writing is therapy. Unload your thoughts on a paper and watch how your mind will breathe. Do yourself a favor a throw your troubles in a book.

Intentional testing is a must. Biggest lesson I have learnt this year because my former self was a big procrastinator of rest and I lost myself a bit because of that. If you want to be the best version of yourself, rest is essential. We all want to be our very best, right?

Saying no is okay. You don’t have to help or save everyone, it’s not your job and being a people pleaser only affects you. Stop saying yes to more work when your table is full, stop saying yes to an event that you clearly don’t want to engage in, stop saying yes to accommodate people’s issues when you are not okay yourself. Say no and only explain yourself if you must.

Let go of what you can’t control. Sweetie, it’s not your fault it rained this morning, why are you still complaining about it? If it is out of your hands or control, allow your mind to pack it up as well.

Practice Gratitude. It is not Thursday but everyday is Thankful Day! Get into a habit of not only being thankful for the big things that happen to you but notice the small details as well. Be grateful for just anything! The more you use gratitude everyday, the greater the good you will bring into your life.

https://thequeenasks.wordpress.com/2020/10/12/talktosomeone/ My post last year about this day. I would love it if you read it again.

One day at a time.~TheQueen!👑

Unrush yourself.

Hey my Beautiful Readers, Happy New Month! I hope you are well and doing the amazing things after your own heart. It is already the ninth month and I know the year is rushing, well according to me it is and it has made me rush into some things because I seem not to have enough time anymore. That is a lie though because who am I to know that? I am only given today because tomorrow is not promised at all.

Unrush yourself and slow down, the year moving at its pace is not a reason for you to break your back while trying to catch up with it. Have you heard about crashing because you rushed? Take one goal at a time and do it so well that there is time to celebrate. No need of adding items on your To-do list when it is not completed yet.

Speeding through life makes you oblivious to the most important steps of this journey. Breathe, no one is chasing you so stop chasing yourself.

Stop rushing and complicating things that need time to breathe and grow.

You are right where you need to be. No need to rush.~TheQueen!👑

21/21- Get off the bench and jump.

Denie’s day is finally here! Happy Birthday to me. I am quite speechless but I know today is going to be extra extra amazing. This day this year happens to be on a Monday to and Halleluyah to that.

I promised myself that I would write a letter to open and read again this same exact day next year. Wow I’m nervous and excited at the same time. How did the year go by so fast? How am I older with a lot of accolades on my forehead but still feeling like I haven’t even achieved that much? My potential scares me sometimes because I know I can do anything but of course I choose not to out of fear, out of failure and maybe laziness.

This is the last lesson because I want to leave it hanging so as to practice it every single day when I am 22. It is more like get out of your comfort zone Denise. The kind of life you desire will not sustain itself baby girl. It is scary isn’t it, a new age, new responsibilities, new lessons to learn, new joy, tears because we have to cry a bit in order to live.

Get off the bench and jump Denise. You well know you will not achieve most of it while seated. Jump because you never know where you will fall. Jump because as you said, What if it does work out? Jump because you need to get bruised a bit and then watch your wounds heal. Jump because God has quite enough written to your name and he will go with you through it. Jump because you have the best Support System to hold you. Jump because you know you want to.

Another trip around the sun, I want you to come back and read this on 30th August 2022, we pray for life and health. I want you to come back and read this because even when you don’t note them down, your heart is full of so many promises that you have to fulfil. It will be okay, I know it will be okay. You know how to make it okay. Stay confident, Spread your smile like wings, Should I tell you to be more confident because sweetie you have crossed 100%. Own each room you walk into and don’t be afraid to get off the bench and jump.

Thank you for reading my August challenge. Thank you for learning and unlearning with me. I look forward to next year with you!~TheQueen!👑

20/21- Let go of the, “What will people say?” mindset!

Dressing up, “What will people say?” Stepping out, “What will people say?” Eating, “What will people say? Honestly, what have people ever not said? Or if I may ask what will people not say? I struggled with this question most of my teenage years and to be honest it only messed up my esteem and fed my insecurities. We are people too and we always have an opinion on everything, every single thing. Why is she dressed in that color? Why does he prefer that? etc.

Have you ever looked back to some things you wanted to do but you gave in to another person’s opinion and ended up not doing them? Of course, we can excuse some people, when my best friend tells me to change my outfit because of reason A, B, and C, I most probably will because she is important to me and she knows me well enough for me to value her opinion.

A stranger though, I highly doubt. Why? Because they don’t know me and why should I have a sleepless night because of someone who is most probably never going to see me again. Dear reader, I hope you feel and understand where I am coming from. Stop putting your life on pause because of “What will people say?” and even after they have said then what?

Listening to every opinion someone has on what you should or shouldn’t do is like giving your journal to anyone to write in it. Imagine different shades of ink, various handwritings determining the outlook of your journal. When you think deeper about it, it is kinda disorganized. Would you even understand all those handwritings?

What consumes your mind, controls your life. When you live with the motto of what will people think, you indirectly choose to escape from your own life.

Love yourself enough to create an environment free from the opinions of other people. The same people sharing their views don’t want people to comment on their lives as well in case you have never noticed.

Make your life count. Take your own path, make your own validation, your own way of life. You are allowed to!

Of all things to get in your way, let it never be a person’s opinion.~TheQueen!👑

19/21- Pat yourself on the back. All wins small or big deserve a celebration.

Little by little, a little becomes a lot.

Hey honey! Two more lessons to go and I was having so much, this morning I was on a call with one of my best friends and we were asking ourselves who is chasing this year. I feel like it’s a decade thing, the Happy New Year messages are going to pass by us as fast as lightning. Anyway, my Birthday is approaching and the excitement is building up.

I love celebrating. I love celebrations and any opportunity given to do so, I’m all in. Most people, according to my observation wait for the biggest achievement to celebrate or acknowledge it as a win. Wins are everywhere and every day. To win is when you get out of bed after procrastinating for an hour. To win is when you finally delete your ex’s contact. To win is when your business makes its first sale. We win every day in the smallest ways and I want you to be able to see that. These wins don’t need you to throw a party but to pat yourself on the back and record it to your book of wins!

By giving attention to small wins, you are making your conscious mind focus on the positive in your life. This simple action will do wonders for how you show up in every other aspect of your life because it keeps your energy in high vibes!

Remember, a grateful heart is a magnet for miracles, and if you are not happy in the current joys, then how do you expect the bigger and better joys to locate you? Every single moment that makes you feel joy in any way MUST be celebrated. Permit yourself to feel each accomplishment, you know the effort you put in and the audience doesn’t have to understand where your joy is coming from.

Be open to recognizing wins in your life every single day!~TheQueen!👑

18/21- If you want to heal, don’t touch the wound.

Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone.
Alan Watts.

Someone next to you is currently healing from something as much as they don’t look like it. They are. You might be healing from something and I’m sorry that you are going through that. I don’t know what it is that you are healing from but it is possible, no matter how long it takes it is possible. I just want to quote my favorite Author today, Chidera Eggerue, and the beautiful literature she wrote in What a Time to be Alone. (I highly recommend)

Healing hurts. If you want the wound to heal, don’t touch it! It prolongs the healing because you are too touchy, as relieving as it is to itch the wound, open the bandage a bit. It only takes long boo.

Each time you revisit a scenario where you were hurt it takes you back to ground zero, when you check their social media accounts and discover they moved on without you, each time you unblock the person to look for more closure, it is you who goes back to crying alone in your bed. Touching the wound in the physical sense of an emotional wound is visiting old places, checking on past contacts, reading through texts that ought to be deleted, smiling at the memories in your gallery and so on.

I saw that some time and remembered that saying that at times , “We break our own hearts” You take your mind in that direction of the wound by constantly thinking about it, going where your triggers are, and keeping yourself in the space of hurt. Healing is a process that is not defined, it won’t hurt less in a month or a year. The length depends on when you stop touching the wound, one day you just wake up and it is simply a scar with a story that you can finally share without needing a box of tissues.

There will be a time when you will self-loathe, there will be times where you will be so over it and there will even be times where you will be sat for ages psychoanalyzing every possible micro-event that led up to the event itself. You aren’t crazy. You are human. Analysis, regression, and regret are just as important as acceptance, forgiveness, and forgetting. Every stage of the process no matter how painful, matters. But if you really do want to grow past the pain, stop kicking at the wound and just trust that it will heal one day.
Chidera Eggerue, What a Time to be Alone.

A friend once told me, “All old skin has to go off for healing to occur, you can’t heal unless all the old is gone because you will keep projecting it on others.” Let go of the old skin and heal at your pace. ~TheQueen!👑

17/21- Listen to your Intuition. Trust it too.

When something feels off, it is.
Abraham Hicks.

Has your system ever hesitated about something but you can’t quite place a finger on it? Darling that is intuition and if we paid attention to it, we would avoid so many mistakes and errors.

The energy that you feel towards certain things is not by mistake, that inner feeling you pick up because of a person or a decision should not just be brushed off and ignored. I read somewhere that intuition is seeing with the soul, something about your soul whispering the truth to your heart hoping that you hear. Those, “I knew something was off, I had a strong feeling” realizations after some time. That is Intuition and you have to listen to it most especially because your mind knows you better than anyone else.

Your intuition has so much power to help you discern and it will give you signs over and over again until you still your mind and listen. Your gut is always looking out for you. The answers are not outside of yourself, I learned that as much as I seek advice outside of myself, most of the time I know exactly what I want and I just need that extra push to go ahead.

Pay attention to your gut feelings!! Your feelings are a great way to tap into your intuition. When you’re around certain people, or in certain environments, or eating certain foods, or doing certain things, pay attention to how you feel. Whenever you feel excited, happy, content, and all the good energy your intuition is giving you the green light! When you feel heavy, anxious, off, and like something is wrong but you can’t explain why you feel that way, your intuition is telling you it’s a no-go for you.

The point is, your intuition is consistent and persistent. It’s a feeling or energy that doesn’t go away! Don’t wait for that “I told so” moment.

Listen to your feelings because they are always communicating.~TheQueen!👑

16/21- You will never know the answer if you don’t ask.

Happy Birth Week to me! It is also the last week of this BirthMonth Challenge and I’m grateful for the love and support.

Better to know and like or hate the answer than sleeping with regret. I used to fear Asking, most especially for help because of the “I don’t want to burden people” or “I can do it on my own regardless” and not to forget the perfectionist in me, “they might not do it my way”

Where did that get me? No where darlings and asking is not all that bad. I’m not yet there but I’m practicing. Ask and you shall receive. How will you receive it if you don’t ask? People are not mind readers and if you ever need anything, you ought to take courage and speak up and say it as it is. We need to learn how to ask with both expectations of a yes and a no in mind because it’s like the tale of the coin, it could be the head or tail depending on the day and priorities.

One of the most common forms of Self Sabotaging is Being afraid to ask for help because of different reasons known to us. People are willing to help, people are willing to step in only if you make it known that you need that from them.

If you don’t ask. The answer is already no.

Asking is a vulnerable thing to do, but it is normal and no one is going to beat you for it because to get something you have to ask, that’s how life works right? Make it ridiculously clear what you’re asking for. Be direct about what you want, who it’s from, and when you need it, and what a desired outcome looks like. The more specific and direct you can be, the better. Have yourself an amazing asking Week!

Better to ask and know than to question and wonder.~TheQueen!👑

15/21- Ask yourself, “What do I need to feel loved right now?” and then go do that.

10 days to my Birthday and I am perplexed at how fast this month and the year, in general, has gone, like how are we concluding the eighth month? Anyways I’m not complaining and in fact Merry Christmas. Today’s lesson is more about mastering your love language and how it is your self-love language.

I’m going to share a link of how to discover yours by Gary Chapman that has always worked for me, it is proven to be at least 80% correct. There are five love languages, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, and Acts of Service. Each person resonates with at least two, a primary and a secondary language. This is personal to each individual and I often call it the Heart’s language, the things that speak to you most, the things that make you skip a bit. https://www.5lovelanguages.com/

Just like any other language, for another person to understand it more, you need to speak it first and teach them. How do you love yourself? The answer to this is how you set the tone and pace for others to follow when handling your heart.

For people to understand how best you want to be loved,you need to communicate your language vividly using actions and speaking it to yourself! May you become fluent in your self-love language like it’s your mother tongue.- QuoteQueen.

I used to hold back on the love I was giving myself because I had all these people around me and I had this feeling that all the love should come from them. Scenes like, “I shouldn’t affirm myself because friend X will” “I shouldn’t go sit and eat in a restaurant alone because Friend Y will invite me” “I shouldn’t buy myself this because friend Z knows I love it and will eventually buy it for me” Do you know what that is? Expecting all happiness to come from one source and without it, you run dry or you delay your life waiting for this outside or external love which 5/10 times lead to major disappointment.

With today’s lesson, I want you to pause and ask yourself, “What do I need to feel loved right now” and then go do that, if it’s something you can actually do. Make it small and meaningful. I need a whole staycation in the Maldives but I can’t afford that right now but I am blessed enough to start with baby steps.

I wrote about how to love yourself in your language when I had just started this blog and feel free to go back and do some revision. https://thequeenasks.wordpress.com/2020/01/20/what-is-your-self-love-language%f0%9f%92%9d/

Make it a daily practice to ask yourself what you need to feel loved and don’t hesitate to do that. ~The Queen!👑

14/21- If you don’t pick a day to rest, your body will pick it for you.

For today’s lesson, I’m going to take us back to about two posts of mine where I wrote about Rest. Sometimes we need to read what we have read before to be reminded.

Rest is not only about restoring energy in your body but also the mind. We glorify productivity and often look at resting as being lazy and unmotivated. I’m saying this because that was my mindset for a very long time. I was constantly on the go till I hit the wall and realized the importance of slowing down a bit and breathing. If you want to be the best version of yourself, rest is essential. Be intentional about resting.

It’s okay to switch off your defensive mode and get down to express everything that is bothering you. Feel your feelings because you are human and no one is going to judge you for it since none of us are robots. You are still you even when you are stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed. This is when my favorite self-care routine comes in, Journaling! Pour out your emotional load daily so that the pile is reduced. Imagine carrying Monday’s stress for the whole week simply because you failed to unpack it. If you can’t journal, talk to someone, invest those emotions in an activity, many healthy mechanisms can always work for you.

Be still and stay still is something I have started practicing since last month. Take off time in a day and just do nothing, it’s not a crime at all. Laziness is okay, not ticking off your to-do list is okay, sleeping is okay. I am learning that all that is okay.

Have you ever become unmotivated out of nowhere and you have no idea as to why? The answer is in Resting to spark that creativity back and you shouldn’t feel bad about that. Rest when you have to not when your body finally decides for you!

Rest enough and restart!~TheQueen!👑

13/21- Indecision is a decision.

I think this is a lesson I have come to accept over time through first hand learning and observations here and there. Who told you that people don’t know what they want? There is an answer in hesitation and it’s always the opposite of what you want to hear just like mixed signals are often a no in bold letters.

People know what they want but if forced to give an answer or choose something it will be short term as they wait for exactly what they wanted in the first place. In hesitation you will always find an answer there. Take yourself back a bit, when you enter a store and see this particular item you like, even when you have no money at that time, you will save up and come back for it because you made a decision at first sight that you wanted it.

I know what I want and no one can convince me otherwise and many of us are like this. Don’t overthink situations and play yourself that maybe with time and too much thought, the answer will change.

I’m going to give a triggering example, Have you ever liked someone and perhaps wanted to take it to the next level and they open up about not being ready and a few months later, they are happily with someone else. Do you know why that happens? They were not ready and were never going to be because it is not you they wanted. Hard pill to swallow and I’m sorry to be the one breaking this to you. When there is confusion, uncertainty, one foot in, the other out, a decision has already been made and no time should be wasted.

To a huge extent, everyone knows what they are doing. There is nothing like, “I don’t know” I say this to make me safe and stay in the comfort of my reality so that I’m not bothered with further questions. Don’t forget, most times your answer lies in the indecision.

With enough time, indecision becomes the decision.~TheQueen!👑

12/21- Well, what if it works out?

Happy New Week! Happy New Day! Think good thoughts and good thoughts will manifest into the lifestyle you want. In the mind of so many, “What ifs” let yours be a positive ‘What if’

What if it works out, what if it goes my way, what if I get it. Don’t be quick to think negatively because it is the culture we have grown in where the first “What if” thought is negative. There is a quote that I live by which has made me jump into possibilities and the idea of getting whatever I want.

What would you do if failure wasn’t an option?

For a small moment just imagine that and see how wild and imaginative your mind is running, shock yourself with how limitless life can be, and then take a leap of faith. What if that business idea works out, what if opening that door is your breakthrough, What if He is the one? Anyway, You do understand what I’m saying right?

What if it does work out. Believe in possibilities, Think of the best scenario. Refraining your mind will lift you higher out of the overthinking, stress, and worry of negative thoughts. Change starts with your mindset. Shift it. Switch it.

Think good thoughts and watch yourself live in those good thoughts!~TheQueen!👑

11/21- Going against your boundaries will only cost you.

Laughing at myself while writing this because why create a boundary if you are going to cross it or to make it worse allow people to cross it. A boundary is made for a reason and by the time you consciously decide to make one, it is really necessary.

Creating and respecting boundaries is Self Preservation, the first law of nature, and any person’s first responsibility. It is protecting yourself mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. We live by boundaries made by other people or even ourselves.

Make sure that when you choose what is best for you, you don’t turn back because you will pay for it one way or the other. Boundaries are not meant to offend people(but well if the shoe fits, it’s not on you) or even to please them but to manage your goals, principles, and priorities. I will give you an example of a personal boundary that I easily go against, “Saying no to people or opportunities when I know I don’t have the mental capacity to accommodate them” It is costing me because I have to create extra time for these new responsibilities I said yes to just to please someone. I’m learning the hard way and I pcan only tell you to take this lesson as seriously as ever.

Your boundaries matter even when people have a hard time accepting them.
Alex Elle.

setting boundaries is being bold enough to love yourself even at the risk of disappointing others.~TheQueen!👑

10/21- You are frustrated about how long it is supposed to take but who told you how long it is supposed to take?

Lessons about Time and Seasons are to be learned every single day because naturally, we complain when things don’t go exactly how we imagined. This happens almost on a daily basis when we plan and give ourselves both realistic and unrealistic deadlines.

Last year, I had to learn the hard way, this pandemic put a halt on so many things such as the degree, and honestly, who told me that it is supposed to take three years apart from the education system of course. My mindset changed and now I look at it as yes the course is supposed to take three years but my season maybe requires it to have some breaks in between. No one said the degree will stop mattering when I get it whenever I do get it.

Let time do its thing because complaining about your set deadlines will lead to a lot of anxiety and depression. Everything is beautiful in its own time and stay patient with God and the universe. A little patience goes a long way and each time you feel like you are not in the right place, the year has not brought you what was expected, Breathe and Remember that things will work out when they are supposed to and you cannot control most of it but you can control your patience.

Anything that has your name on it, will find its way to you no matter how long it takes.~TheQueen!👑

9/21- Hoarding is unhealthy.

This is a big lesson coming from a serial hoarder who is finally checking out of this unhealthy habit. Please believe that Hoarding is not as cute, especially if what you are holding onto triggers your mental health. One of my goals as I turn older is to pack light, pack useful, pack necessary. There is no longer space for, “What if I need it” because 90% of the time I actually don’t.

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need.
Tao Te Ching.

I used to hoard memories, I love collecting pictures, I never used to delete messages because Lol I need the receipts, what a bad perspective! There is a day I woke up and deleted a chat that I kept visiting to deny the reality, it was messages from someone I no longer wanted to associate with and the peace, the PEACE! I have never looked back since then. (This is your sign to let go of those messages darling)

The more baggage you carry with you, year in, year out, day in, day out, the less space you leave to receive more and better. I accept there are things that were right and perfect for us at time T but as you grow, you outgrow some. For example clothes you wore or loved so much two years ago either no longer fit perfectly or are even out of style.

Packing that blouse that you don’t need takes up space for the new and better. Decluttering is healthy. Unpack your emotional baggage, leave past experiences where they belong because Hoarding something unnecessary does not change the fact that it no longer carries the value it once did in your life.

Personal Growth is not about how much you accumulate but how much you release.
Nathan Thomas, Author of Own Your Glow.

The goal is to travel light whether mentally or physically.~TheQueen!👑